Friday, November 30, 2007
War with Sudan
A timeline of events, without dates included because I don't know how long they would actually take if properly pursued (they will of course be improperly pursued and will take all the time in the world):
1. Protests lodged with local MPs.
2. MPs appeal to Prime Minister Stephen Harper.
3. Prime Minister appeals to Governor General Michaëlle Jean.
4. Governor General appeals to Her Majesty, Elizabeth II.
5. Her Majesty asks Gordon Brown to convene a special parliamentary session to determine an appropriate response; House of Lords throws in its two cents as well.
6. With a roar of popular support, Brown sends a letter to Sudan's ambassador to Britain, Omar Mohammed Ahmed Siddig indicating the English people's and state's supreme displeasure with the conduct of Siddig's nation in the matter of Gillian Gibbons.
7. Siddig stonewalls.
8. Gibbons continues to rot in Sudanese prison, lulled to sleep each night by the protesters in the street outside calling for her execution.
9. Brown offers Sidding one last chance to get his superiors to Fix This.
10. Sidding stonewalls.
11. Ultimatum delivered: Release and pardon Gibbons within twenty-four hours or prepare for invasion. Popular media begins reminiscent evocations of the Siege of Khartoum (1884-85).
Here things get hazy. The ultimatum is ignored, the invasion proceeds, Gibbons is rescued, Sudan's Islamist element is ruthlessly crushed, the infamies of Darfur are somehow resolved, England rejoices, Elizabeth II converts to Catholicism, etc.
And even if all that's too much to ask, they might at least be a bit more forceful in their demands that Ms. Gibbons be released. You know, if they felt like it, maybe.
1. Protests lodged with local MPs.
2. MPs appeal to Prime Minister Stephen Harper.
3. Prime Minister appeals to Governor General Michaëlle Jean.
4. Governor General appeals to Her Majesty, Elizabeth II.
5. Her Majesty asks Gordon Brown to convene a special parliamentary session to determine an appropriate response; House of Lords throws in its two cents as well.
6. With a roar of popular support, Brown sends a letter to Sudan's ambassador to Britain, Omar Mohammed Ahmed Siddig indicating the English people's and state's supreme displeasure with the conduct of Siddig's nation in the matter of Gillian Gibbons.
7. Siddig stonewalls.
8. Gibbons continues to rot in Sudanese prison, lulled to sleep each night by the protesters in the street outside calling for her execution.
9. Brown offers Sidding one last chance to get his superiors to Fix This.
10. Sidding stonewalls.
11. Ultimatum delivered: Release and pardon Gibbons within twenty-four hours or prepare for invasion. Popular media begins reminiscent evocations of the Siege of Khartoum (1884-85).
Here things get hazy. The ultimatum is ignored, the invasion proceeds, Gibbons is rescued, Sudan's Islamist element is ruthlessly crushed, the infamies of Darfur are somehow resolved, England rejoices, Elizabeth II converts to Catholicism, etc.
And even if all that's too much to ask, they might at least be a bit more forceful in their demands that Ms. Gibbons be released. You know, if they felt like it, maybe.
Labels: infamy
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Why is anyone even trying to help these people? Move out the education and the food, seal the borders around the Real World, and then move in after everyone's killed everyone else. If they have any resources we need, we'll parachute in, lay minefields, and dig moats around the mining operations. Trespassers' bodies will be impaled on a field of stakes. Also, we'll have dogs and maybe even bees.
Vernunft, that was my solution for Somalia. They don't have any resources though, so there would be no need for the fortifications you described. But I'd like to see these go up any way, for the sheer visceral pleasure.
Sudan, on the other hand, has petroleum reserves. That means soon their government will have the money to purchase more weapons to kill the Christians and animists in the south, and the army will be able to drive there on comfortable roads built by Chinese labourers. Yes, apparently sub-Saharan Africa has a labour shortage....that shortage might have something to do with all the mass, angry demonstrations against those horrible, horrible people from nasty Europe who hurt their feelings.
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Sudan, on the other hand, has petroleum reserves. That means soon their government will have the money to purchase more weapons to kill the Christians and animists in the south, and the army will be able to drive there on comfortable roads built by Chinese labourers. Yes, apparently sub-Saharan Africa has a labour shortage....that shortage might have something to do with all the mass, angry demonstrations against those horrible, horrible people from nasty Europe who hurt their feelings.
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